


Sherlock BBC X FTM (Male) Reader

by Sam_Lee



Category: Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Awesome Greg Lestrade, Don't freak out, John Healing, John and you are dating, John is your brother, Lestrade is your brother, M/M, One Shot Collection, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Relationships to Be Added - Freeform, Poor John, Reader-Insert, Self Harm, They are one-shots, requests open
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-03-31 20:47:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13983042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sam_Lee/pseuds/Sam_Lee
Summary: Sherlock characters X reader. Request if you want, please be as specific as possible. You and all of Sherlock be loving. I suck at summaries, please just give it a chance.Edit: I am willing to do almost any character x reader, or how the reader deals with a certain ship.





	1. Body Issues(Just F/A) (Sherlock)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> F, in the title means fluff, A =Angst, S = Smut, MCD = Major Character Death (Minor will have no warning, this Sherlock, there is bound to be a few cases) and SW/SHW= Suicide/self-harm warnings, but I will also spell it out in all caps at the start of the chapter

TRIGGER WARNING: SELF-HATE/SELF-BODY SHAMING-ISH(Sorry I got a little carried away with it, but it stays unless@PokeSassinX wants something different!)

Sherlock Holmes, THE Sherlock Holmes was in my arms tonight. Crazy, I know. Just a few weeks ago he gave me a lecture about him being married to his work, that changed quickly after I almost got shot. He was shocked by the gun when we showed up, but not that the guy fired it. 

But, like I said, that was weeks ago. Right now, we were cuddling. His head on my shoulder and my head on top. It had been a rough day. Running, chasing, listening to Anderson bicker at Sherlock, being chased, finally catching the girl that killed a man, and then listening to Lestrade yell about Sherlock risking both our lives. Yup, just another Friday on the Sherlock team.

Things were feeling somewhat like a normal life, as normal as you can with a family like this. Sherlock closely, lost in his train of thought. Probably about to look for another case, or thinking about an experiment. His arm wrapped around my waist.

It was quiet so I decided to sink into my own thoughts. They were kind and gentle, at first, thinking of Sherlock, John, Mycroft, Lestrade, and I. How closer we all were. Even Anderson and Donovan were close to us. Sherlock may hate him, but he would also save his life if it were threatened.

I let my mind drift to when I first met Anderson. I tried to keep it light in my mind, but I remembered all too well, how Anderson first reacted to me being a man on the inside. things slowly got worse, spiraling out of control emotionally. I hated my body. I hated the way I felt. The way I looked.

"(Y/N)?" Sherlock asked driving a wedge between me and my thoughts, but not quite pulling me free. Why? Why couldn't was I stuck in the wrong body? Why couldn't I just not feel this way? A dark cloud of 'why's and pain covered my mind. I was crying, my body shaking, and a soothing voice gently started to pull me free.

"I'm right here, (Y/N). I love you, I'm not going to leave. It's okay, I have you. No one will hurt you while I'm here." Sherlock said slowly rocking me. "What's wrong? What happened?" Sherlock asked in a calm and even voice, with a bearly-there-hint of sadness.

"I'm sorry. I just- I don't want to-" I softly cried as my voice broke. Sherlock stilled us both suddenly. At first, the worst thought came to mind, that I had angered him. He stood up and knelt in front of me, taking my hand in his.

"Listen to me, (Y/N). I know that you want to be a guy. But you are, already. It doesn't matter what is between your legs, or on you chest. All that matters is what is in your heart and mind. That is what I fell for, (Y/N). I support you, no matter what, not because you look like a girl or feel like a guy, but because of who you are! You are smart, kind, funny, even a little bit devious, (Y/N)." Sherlock said and tears fell down his face as he smiled.

"I know I don't tell you that as often as I should, but that is because I forget that you are human too. You forget how those close to you feel about you. You get scared. You have bad days, hours, even weeks. There are going to be times when you feel worse than ever before. Times are going to be dark, it will get worse. But I will stand with you. No matter how dark, cold, or useless you feel, I will be right there. I will hold your hand. And you watch, (Y/N). You watch me fight for you. I will never give you up. Not for anything. You are my world." Sherlock said and waited for me to smile. I couldn't help it. I smiled. I chuckled because he always made me feel better, I don't even know how he does it. He cupped my face in his hands.

"Now that I have my my whole world in my hands, what does my world want? Ice cream? A hug? Coffee? All three?" Sherlock smiled.

"I'll take your coffee when I have a death wish." I chuckled and we laughed. "I'll take the ice cream and a hug." I smiled. He stood brought me the ice cream and hugged me tight. He turned on the telly and we snuggled.


	2. It Got Better(SH) (SHW/A/F)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock and John try to help the reader. But it's a bit hard for John, so Sherlock takes over.

<<<<<<< I am sorry. I just got tired of the unrealistic Self Harming endings. It's going to hurt. It might trigger, so don't push yourself if you aren't ready. It's okay. (Message me if you want help, or want to talk) I am sorry it took so long to write this, but I need to take breaks on ones like these if I get too into it because I am a self-harmer. It's been two years since the last time I cut, but you are never really an ex-self-harmer unless you don't even think about it the way you used to anymore.>>>>>>>>

WARNING: SELF-HARM/SELF-MUTILATION AND IN THIS YOU ARE JOHN'S BROTHER!

 

Pain. Sweet, addicting pain. It grounded me. Sherlock had asked me out on a date and I was panicking an hour before we were meant to leave. I looked at my body in my available clothes and hated it. It was so un-nerving seeing my female body. I didn't like it. That was why I put a shallow cut from one underboob to the other. It made me feel so free.

As an explosion of endorphins ran through my body, I started to feel like I was floating, I waited as they started to calm down when I heard a knock. I panicked and cleaned myself up. "Hold on!" I called as I got dressed in something that hid my female figure.

"Are you okay?" I heard John call as he knocked again. I heard a deep voice behind him whispering things and then a "For god's sake, he isn't hurting himself! Listen! He is getting dressed!" John said like the idea was crazy.

I opened the door and arched an eyebrow. He grabbed my wrist and looked at me as if to ask permission. I nodded and he slid my sleave and he looked at both sides of my arm. I almost smirked. I wasn't that dumb. Not only that, but it was too hard to stop the bleeding from there. It gets scary when you come to and there is blood everywhere. Sherlock gave him a look and John gave a heavy sigh.

"Into the bathroom," John said motioned into the bathroom. "Stay," John said to Sherlock as I backed up before closing the door behind himself. "Show me your thighs, please." John said. I huffed a little and went to show him. "Wait!" John said. I froze. "Please show me your stomach," John whispered. I stayed froze. I didn't think I lifted my shirt that high.

"You don't even need to now. I can see it in your eyes. I thought you were clean. I thought you were done with this. What happened?" John asked. "Please let me see them," John asked after a long pause. He reached out and I pulled away. "I'm not asking as a brother or friend! I am asking as a doctor! I need to know that you won't bleed out!" John snapped. I flinched.

Sherlock ripped open the door. "John, I have it," Sherlock said. John went to say something. "Look at him and tell me you didn't scare him. Go. Please. Now." Sherlock said. John gritted his teeth and walked out shoving Sherlock as he went.

"Sorry, about that. You know John is only mad because he can't carry your burdens for you. You are brothers. It scares him to think he can't just fix everything." Sherlock said as he pulled out the gauze, scissors, and super glue. I struggled for words.

"Let me care for you, please." Sherlock said in an asking way that only Sherlock can do.

"Sherlock, I- Okay," I said as I lifted my shirt.

"None of them look too deep. Which is good, can I wrap them just in case?" Sherlock asked. I nodded. He seemed displeased, but not angry as John had. A tear slipped from my eye. I hurt those around me with this. Why can't I stop? What kind of person just let's this go on? Why can't I stop? It's hurting me too, so why isn't that enough to make me stop?

"Sherlock, I'm sorry-" I started. Sherlock rolled his eyes.

"Stop. Don't tare yourself down. It's an addiction. Everyone has one. Everyone started somewhere. Including me. I started with cutting as well. But look at me, I am 20 months clean from everything, including cocaine, cutting, morphine, nicotine, and so many others. It took a man, a best friend, a brother, and a team of police officers to do what not even the best rehab someone can buy. Which was to help me stop. I know what cutting does. It grounds, it solidifies, it gives peace, and weightlessness to many. If you want to stop. I can help. Me, your brother, your best friend, and a team of police officers, plus my brother, if you need him, can and will help. The only question is, do you want to stop?" Sherlock asked.

"Yes, god yes, more than anything. But I can't. I can't stop." I said. Sherlock finished wrapping me and grabbed my hands.

"No. And you aren't going to. I'm going to show you how to control it. How often do you do it?" Sherlock asked. 

"About once every two weeks. Not always." I said.

"Then we make a schedule. Try to predict your cravings, line them up with stress levels, body cycles, and anniversaries. Then, after we have it as close to accurate as we can, we take it up to the next level and eliminate one cut at a time. It will take a long time, but, it is the safest way to do any of it. I will be right there." Sherlock and hugged me.

 

<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>


	3. I'm Not Her! (John x Reader) (F/A)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and John well after Marry died.

John and I had been together for two years. It had been five since Mary died. I was there, with him then. I stuck with him through him missing/losing Sherlock. I stuck with him trying to cope with the baby without Mary, but I can't stick with him through this. It hurt so bad when I realized I was nothing more than a rebound, but I was hoping it would change. But he still saw me as Mary's substitute. Two years and that hadn't changed. I was beginning to think he was picking up bad habits from Sherlock.

But that doesn't matter. We were over. I was packing and I had sent Rosamund off because I knew a fight was coming. No child should see this. I was still packing when John came in the door. My heart shattered. I had hoped he would have taken his usual time coming home, so I could just take my bags and leave. Nothing ever goes to my plans, why should it? I was leaving him, so I guess it makes sense that the universe would not help me hurt him if this ever could. He had been through enough, but so have I.

"(Y/N), what is this? What's going on?" John asked with an almost chuckle, the chuckle he makes when he can't accept what is happening. I put on a sad smile and turned to him.

"I'm leaving, John. That's what is going on. Don't worry, Rosa is at Sherlock's. She doesn't know. I thought it would be best if she didn't see this." I said and then returned to packing. John was frozen for a bit. As if he was reeling.

"What did I do wrong?" John asked almost too quiet. "What did I do?" John asked louder as if he wasn't sure that I heard him. He sounded like he was crying.

"Nothing that you could have helped. It's not your fault. It's not-" My voice broke as tears started flowing. I didn't know it would hurt this bad. I didn't want it to hurt. "It's not on you. I'm sorry, but I just can't do this anymore." I finished.

"Really? You expect me to believe that? It took four months for you to finally do something to tell me something is wrong and you won't even tell me!" John yelled. "Why?!?! What have I done to you? How did I hurt you?" John asked forcing himself to calm down.

"John, it's nothing. It's fine. It's an issue I have. It's me, it isn't you. If anything, all you did was try something you weren't ready for. I pushed too hard, and now I've broken it." I said.

"I'm a doctor, I can tell when something isn't right. It's something I have done, I know that. So stop treating me like a bloody idiot! I deserve to know!" John yelled.

"You don't want me! That's what's wrong!" I snapped as I turned to John. He looked at me as if to say 'What?' I looked anywhere but him as I crossed my arms. "You still want Mary. You've always wanted Mary. You've never wanted me. I'm not her! I've never been like her!" I ended up yelling.

"What has this have to do with her?" John asked. He sounded so small and it ripped my heart out.

"You still can't say her name in front of me! Sherlock has shown me a video of you calling me Mary." I said. He looked hurt. So hurt. "I'm not blaming you. It's my fault. I didn't mean to push you. I just wanted to help, and all I did was hurt myself. It's my fault. I pushed you into this relationship, and I pushed too hard, too fast." I said sadly.

"I'm not completely over Mary. But I haven't called you Mary since the first year of our relationship." John said. My head dropped. He went to touch me and I stepped back, causing him to stop. "I don't see you as Mar- Mary! It's still hard to say her name! Of course, it is! We had a baby together! We got married! If you died, it would take me more than 8 years to say your name! You were here before Mary! You were here when Sherlock faked his death! You stood by me when I had nothing else! You were with me before and after the war! And you were my best friend! You are my boyfriend now! I didn't even know I swung both ways! Maybe I don't. Maybe I love you for your personality. Or maybe I just love you." John said.

Sherlock came in with Rosa asleep. He froze seeing tears in both our eyes. I looked away from her. Sherlock laid her on her bed and when to leave and John grabbed him by the collar then motioned me to follow him. I did as he dragged Sherlock outside. Sherlock went to say something and John gave him an intense glare.

"Sherlock, why did you give him the video you took last year?" John asked scarily calm.

"Because, John, you can't explain to Rosa why her mother is gone, what makes you think you are ready for another marriage?" Sherlock asked. I gave Sherlock a death glare. "I'm not going to risk Lestrade's brother getting hurt so that you can find that out when it's too late! Lestrade said to make sure he doesn't get hurt. He threatened to never let me see Mycroft again. He is dating him, you know!" Sherlock said.

John's anger flared in his eyes. The moment my hand grabbed him, he calmed as he looked at my face. A little bit of relief passed through me. It's the same look he gave me when I grabbed his hand while reuniting with Sherlock. He was definitely seeing me. Not her, me. I loved it. Was that the first time I noticed? I guess since I first saw it I threw myself into caring for Rosa so I could wait it out.

"Sherlock, that wasn't the right way to do it. I know you don't want to lose your brother-" Sherlock went to interrupt but John held his hand up. "Shut up- but he was probably only a little serious. Not die hard, but more like 'I look like I'm joking, and if you ask, I will say I am, but if he really is in danger, I'll kill you if you don't do something about it'. He would never actually do anything to hurt you or your brother. If he hurts you, he knows Mycroft will put you first and dump his arse. You and your brother care for each other far more than you care to admit. Lestrade wouldn't risk losing both of you, just because he is mad. It' alright." John said calmly.

<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I heard my brother and John in the living room talking about when he could talk to me. John said that I was really sick. Well, it wasn't exactly a lie. I was sick, but it was hardly as bad as John made it sound. He didn't exaggerate or lie, he just used medical terms only, and said it was hard to explain when Greg asked for a breakdown.

"Can you tell me again what happened, or what is wrong with him?" Greg asked as a sigh of exasperation escaped his mouth.

"What is wrong is a misguided reaction to foreign substances by the immune system. He will make a fine recovery with rest. That's all he needs." John said. I wiped my nose again before walking into view. Greg stood up a little shocked to see me.

"It's commonly called allergies. I am having a fight with pollen." I smiled through puffy eyes.

"Why wouldn't you let me see you for months?" Greg asked clearly upset. I squinted at him, anger bubbling up. As I stepped forward he sat back down, almost looking like I was going to beat him up like when we were little.

"You asked Sherlock Holmes, a walking baby, to babysit me. And he almost broke me and John up! I'm not your little brother anymore. I'm just your brother! I never asked you to dictate my happiness. I can do that on my own. Clearly, you can't." I said. Greg stood up, hugged me, and kissed my forehead.

"I am sorry, I just want you safe." He said as I hugged him back. "You are my world. I would choose you over anyone else. I love you. I didn't mean to hurt you." Greg added as he pulled back to look me in the eyes.

"You hurt me? I remember it was the other way around when we would kids. I remember kicking your arse. I still can." I said. Greg handed John his badge and gun before getting into the sparing position. I tackled him. John yelled about playing rough the whole time and about breaking things. I won. Again. But we had to tend to Greg. Old man can't eve spar anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you had fun reading it! Request are open! Don't forget to drop a Kudos if you liked it and if you didn't drop a comment to tell me what you would like me to change! You can't fix a flat tire if you don't know it's flat!


	4. Love, No (TW/SW/SH) (Lestrade)

It happened again. Another friend died. It had taken years to get over the last one and you hadn't even watched it happen that time. You were walking to their house because they had said they needed you to help with something. You had even gotten a (coffee/tea) just how you both liked it. His window had been wide open and you notice him just in time to see it happen. Just in time to see him kick the chair away. You dropped the drinks and dialed 999, but it wasn't enough. He had crushed his wind pipe and he was dead by the time services arrived.

When they say suicide is a plauge, now you know how accurate it was. You new you were alone. You had Greg, your boyfriend, John, an old buddy from before he was shipped off, Sherlock, John's best friend and acquaintance, and you had Molly, your best friend. It felt like somehow you had caused it. Losing one friend to suicide isn't uncommon, two weird but not rare, three extremely rare. Even if it wasn't like that... It was still your fault. If you hadn't had gone the scenic route, I went faster than meandering, and had stuck to the plan which was get over there asap, then he would be alive!

If you had been a good true friend, he would be alive. You could have talked out of it, maybe even knocked him out if you had too, who knows but you could have done something! And now you wanted to scream and throw everything until nothing was left. But it was like before you caught up with John, who had lead you to Greg. Nothing would come out you couldn't lash out the world. There was only one escape you knew would work every time. A year clean, and you weren't even fighting the urge. Just giving in seem the only option.

 

You ran into the bathroom and didn't even hesitate. One, two, three, four, five. That felt so good already, but you needed more. You heard your phone go off. Molly must have told someone. Six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Your phone was blowing up, but you didn't care. Like Sherlock with his cocaine, you fix needed to be sated first and foremost. Eleven, twelve, thirteen-. The door to the apartment slammed open just moments before the bathroom door open. It was more gental this time. It opened to reveal Gregory Lestrade. Now you felt the guilt. The way he was looking at you, he was begging you to let him help.

"(Y/N), hand me the straight razor, please." Gregory said softly kneeling beside you. You have it to him. What choice did you have? You always bent to him. Always. "You know it's not your fault, right, love?" He asked.

"It is, if I hadn't of delayed-" Your trailed.

"No. Love, no. It wasn't your fault." Greg asked. That's when you started crying.

"How you know?" You demanded.

"Because, you have been my boyfriend for six months, my best friend for seven, an I have known you for almost a year! He said he was feeling down! He didn't tell you it was urgent so you got him (Coffee/Tea) just the way he likes it! If you had known how bad it was you would have stolen a car if you thought that was the fastest way!" Greg said and grabbed youe hand. 

"You would have killed anyone in your way, why? Because when you care about someone you value their life above all others! You wouldn't have paused for anything if you had known! You would trade places tih him right mow if it would bring him back. But it won't. You are not trading one life for another your just adding your name to the list of dead." Greg said and pulled you closer, ever so gently.

"You think that highly of me?" You asked staring into his dark brown eyes. 

"No, I know you that well. I have helped you through enough, and I know the exact kind of man you are. You are kind, so kind that you get hurt. Your heart is larger than your brain, so your emotions are too. You care almost too much and you are loyal to a fault. And most importantly you are the kind of man I want to be with. The kind that I could never leave." Greg said cupping your face. He looked like he wasn't lying. Maybe he was just being nice. 

"But I am back to zero on days free." I said.

"No, we are. And you got to one year clean, so our goal is one year and one month. It's okay to fall down, and it's okay if you can't just stand back up right away, (Y/N), what is important is that you never stop trying to get up. So I'll help you. 60 meters isn't that far if both halve walk thirty." Greg said.

"I love you so much, Greg." You said holding onto him.

"Well, we have to bandage it and clean it up, if it is too bad, we go to emergency care and get help. Okay?" Lestrade said/asked in his "detective inspector voice". It almost always, including this time, made you feel better. It wasn't too bad, mostly only really shallow cuts. Greg wrapped it up well after cleaning it. No, that wasn't the last down. But you were going to making now. You could feel it.


	5. I Know prt 1 (F) (Lestrade)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just ask me to change what you don't like, and I will gladly do so. Domii requested all Lestrade stories thus far.

You were all out of patience. Anderson was being annoying. You were just about to punch him in the face. Ugh, he could be so.... arrgh. You stared at him blankly trying to figure out if he was just TRYING to test you or if he actually couldn't see it.

"It's obviously iron! Look at how it is oxidizing! It couldn't be anything else. Look, seriously, just run it through the machine." You said frustratedly. Anderson rolled his eyes.

"I am the forensic expert, I will be the judge of what it is." Anderson said, egotistically. You just gave up, ripped the papers, he called you down to print them, out of his hands, and went to leave but Anderson stopped you. "Dont forget the box, Lestrade needs to sign those." Anderson said. You placed the papers on top and left quickly with the box.

At least you didn't stutter or blush around Lestrade anymore. You were the forensic aid. You only spoke to or got around Lestrade was when they needed you to get something from hime or bring something to him. That made it a lot easier to work, at least it's unlikely for you to be put on his team

You went to the copying room first and it was locked. Of course it is, but you left your ID next to Anderson. Lestrade was walking this way toward you and paused next to you. He smiled at you.

"Hey, (Y/N). Uh, I'll get the door." He said and swiped his ID on the little black box. He opened the door and gestured for you to to go in. That's when it plummeted, that single moment. You bumped into him and he dropped his ID. You bent down a little to pick it up. "It's alright, I'll get it." He said. You nodded realizing you wouldn't be able to pick it up. You tried to stand back up, but you moved wrong and tumbled forward dropping everything.

He tried to catch you and also help you pick up everything. You both froze when you heard the door click. Lestrade looked at you and then behind him at the door. He hung his head and chuckled. You couldn't help but chuckle as well.

"I will just text Dovonan to come get us out." He said. He looked a lot happier since his devoriced and all that mess was over. He sat back on his heels began to pat at his pockets. He began to grow worried then groaned. "I left the phone on the desk." Lestrade said.

"Well, Dective Inspector, I am sure we are not the only ones that have to print copies today." You said continuing to gather up the papers for him to sign.

"Call me Greg, please." He said. It was getting a little warm, or maybe you had begun to notice how small the room was. It was copy room almost no one went to, that's why you went to it. No awkward confersations, no feeling weird or upset when you were misgendered, no fear of them finding out and telling everyone just to hate you because you aren't as lucky as them.

Only one issue. Not a whole lot of room. It was just 2 meters by 2 meters. You looked at your watch and saw it was getting l close to the to the eighth hour mark. You closed your eyes with a sigh. You slid the reorganized box over to him with a pen.

An hour later the room was really hot. You had gotten what Anderson wanted done and you were fed up with waiting. You both had your ties loosened and the jackets off. Your top three buttons were undone. You stood up and held your hand out for the pin, just as a spike of pain hit your rib.

The hiss and sort of twich made Lest- Greg stand too. Greg started pulling up your shirt to see what was wrong. You recovered and pulled away, you hoped, just in time. He looked at you confused.

"Just a muscle spasm." You lied. You would rather that be what you are known for. You took the apart to get the spring. You pulled it to a straight piece and gently put it in the hole of the ID reader. It was meant for when the thing wouldn't scanned so the people who fix it could fix both. The door unlocked and you opened the door after handing Greg his ID.

"How did you learn to do that?" He asked. You smiled, picked up your papers and box waited for Lestrade. He came out and you let the door close. He waited for your answer. You knew he wasn't going to drop it.

"I had a friend that now sits in jail. He taught me everything he knew, just in case he was caught before I was an adult." I said and walked off. Sally Donnovan was watching me. You gave that crap to Anderson and went home.


	6. I Know prt 2 (F) (Lestrade)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, I wanted this to be perfect. Hopefully it is. Here you go the finale... part 2.

You went to work the next day, and Lestrade smiled and waved at you. You waved at him and he walked over to talk to you. He was wearing your favorite tie of his.

"You look handsome today, (Y/N), it that a tailored suit?" Greg asked. You were stunned, so you took a second to respond.

"Thank you, Greg. Yeah, I got it from Men's Wearhouse from my time in America." You said. No one had ever noticed.

"Oh, yeah, you spent time abroad as a exchange student, right?" Greg asked. You were once again stunned. You didn't know he payed that much attention during those short breakroom chats.

"Yeah. I like that tie, it looks good on you." You said. You were starting to feel a little hopeful he was flirting and not just complimenting you. He smiled a little brighter. You smiled back. His dark brown eyes held yours for moment before Sally Donovan interrupted.

"Lestrade, we've got a case." Sally said as she hung up his office phone. He nodded and stared that ball rolling as you got to work. You gave Anderson his coffee he had texted for as he started to leave he told you to come so you followed. It was a crazy day.

You were glad to get home. You were getting ready to undress when there was a knock at your door. Your flat wasn't messy, just not company ready. You opened the door and Greg was there. You were surprised. 

"What can I do you for, inpector?" You asked. You instantly regreted how you said that. You ignored it knowing you were going to want to slam your head in to anything near by as soon as you were out of sight.

"I wanted to see if you wanted to hang out with the gang and I, tomorrow night, unless you were busy?" Greg asked, smiling a bit. "You look like the kind of man that can hold your own drink. You might even win." Greg beamed.

"I'll certainly be there and drink you under the table." You smiled. You were almost certain he was flirting, that was a win in and of itself. He nodded.

"We'll see about that." Greg smiled. You nodded proudly, he chuckled. "See you then." Greg said. You Chuckled and waved as he walked away. You closed the door and you almost screamed with joy. Then you froze.

He didn't know. If it goes any further than hand holding he will find out and that will be a mess. Your brain started panicking screaming at you with a rang of reactions. Call it off now! No, what if he doesn't care. Just let him find out when it cranks up! No, that is disaster waiting to happen. 

Only one solution. It took hours to have the courage to start the trek. It was the right and proper thing to do. You were practicing all the way there. You thought you were almost having a panic attack by the time you knocked on his door, little did you know it was only muffled by the mission you were on. He opened the door and you started in.

"Greg, I know there are things I haven't told you, things I haven't told anyone. But you have to know before anything else happens." You said.

He suddenly seem more alert than before.You also just noticed he was only in his pants. Who answers the door in just their pants? You were a little stunned and trying to gather yourself.

"What is it?" He asked in a soft, worried voice. You were worried now too.

"I am transgender, that means I wasn't born male. But I am now and I understand if you never want to talk to me again. But I would like you to not tell any one." You rushed out is one long word. He looked confused before a wave of relief hit him.

"It's alright, I know. I know but it. I was worried you were going to say you weren't looking for a relationship or you were straight." Greg said and gestured for you to come in.

"What? You knew?" You asked. He nodded.

"I saw your binder. You pass really well, by the way. You've been working at Scotland Yard for almost a year, and I never would have guess." Greg said.

He got you some water and got trousers on. He got you calm and steady. He had spotted the panic attack the moment you told him you were trans. Once your breathing calmed he spoke again.

"Are you alright?" He asked softly. You nodded and he gave you a small smile. "Good. I was worried I'd have to call Anderson to aggravate you out of it." He joked. You Chuckled and smile. You hugged him and he hugged back. You both fell asleep holding each other.


	7. Sherlock! Stop! Prt 1 (A) (Sherlock)

You were screaming at each other again. This time right beside the car that the killer was in. Sherlock was willing to let himself die with no thought of you. You knew why, but he had promised to never do that to you again.

"(Y/N), I had-" Sherlock yelled.

"Bullshit! You know that she could have been tracked using the credit cards! You just did it for the rush, the high. THAT'S ALL YOU CARE ABOUT!" You yelled back. Sherlock scoffed.

"When you stop thinking that you are the center of the universe, join your brother and I at that-" Sherlock started while walking away.

"I promise you if you do not turn around and apologize, I am leaving you!" You interrupted. You were hurt, and he was running from his emotions yet again.

"I am sure I can find another gold fish." He retorted. You wanted to attack him. But you didn't.

"Sherlock, don't you think-" John started. But the cab door slammed shut. John sighed. " He is just-" John started.

"Running from the guilt and pain. I know, John. Good bye." You said. If that had been the only issue it would have been fine. But it wasn't. Sherlock had cheated on you for a case and you wouldn't have found out if Anderson hadn't said anything.

You walked back to the flat and began packing. He wouldn't eat properly. He experimented on you. All of that would be fine if he wouldn't act like you meant nothing to him. That is the final straw. The part that made every moment of this unbearable.

You were finishing packing up when Sherlock walked in, John right behind him. You closed your suitcase as Sherlock processed what you were doing. When you looked at him again the first thing that hit you was the terror.

"(Y/N)-" Sherlock started. The pain, the guilt, the love.

"No, don't you dare say it now. Please." You begged.

"I can change-" Sherlock trailed knowing that route was going to be fruitless.

"But then you wouldn't be Sherlock Holmes, would you?" You asked. Hot tears started down your face as you tried to look strong. You felt pain in your chest like he had cut you open.

"Please, stay, just one more night." Sherlock begged.

"I can't. You know I can't." You said just barely loud enough to be heard. You cleared your throat. "You have every single part of me. You have everything. I am yours now and forever. But tell me, was there a time, even for a second, where you were mine?" You asked, you wanted to know.

Sherlock couldn't answer. You looked up and he waa crying just as much as you were. John even let a few tears fall. This night was going to end painfully for everyone in this flat.

"What are you feeling right now, Sherlock?" You asked.

"I- I don't know. There are too many emotions." Sherlock said. 

"Contact me when you've figured it out." You said picking up your suitcases and heading down the stairs. You paused when John stopped Sherlock, holding him from casing you.

"Sherlock! Stop! Let him go. He deserves peace. Let him be happy. Just let him go." John said softly.

"I don't know how, John." A broken voice answered. You closed the door behind yourself leaving Sherlock Holmes behind. Some how you felt better and worse.


End file.
